It is absolutely normal to feel nervous about anything new, and when you’re aware there is a dedicated amount of time to talk about yourself to someone you don’t know, anyone would be forgiven for feeling apprehensive.

When you arrive, it’s important to be mindful that therapists need to me very structured with timekeeping as, often, one session follows another, with very limited time to make their notes. If you can ensure you arrive 5-10 minutes early, that would be ideal for ensuring you start on time, and that none of your own time gets lost.

Some therapists differ slightly on how they do their contracting, which means the way they outline the ways you will work together. They are likely to have covered one or two of the most important things in your consultation call, and they will probably reiterate these things verbally, along with a few other important details, at the very start of the session.

The first 5-10 minutes of the first session is probably the most you’ll ever hear the therapist talk. They will make sure you’re clear and happy with the way your sessions are likely to work. If you are happy, you will probably be asked to sign a physical copy of the agreement. I personally would have emailed you this document before the first session to give you time to read it and note any questions you might have.

If you are able to sign this agreement on the day, great. You will take a copy, and your therapist will keep a copy. However, if something has come up through discussion that requires an amendment, the therapist is likely to suggest you sign a copy ahead of, or during, the next session instead. Once the agreement is signed, there won’t be a need to do this again in the future unless the terms of the agreement change.

Once this is covered, your therapist will ask if there is anything specific you wish to discuss. Sometimes, clients know exactly what they want to talk about. There might even be a whole wave of new things that come up as they’re talking. Sometimes, the client has no idea what to say. Whatever camp you are in on the day, it’s absolutely okay.

One of the most common things people say in their first session is, “I’m not sure why I’m here, but I know I need to be.” This might seem vague to you, but for a trained therapist, it offers an excellent starting point as it will encourage them to start asking some general questions in order to start building your relationship, and also to find out some key facts. What you will likely find is that these questions will soon lead to areas that identify what you wish to explore.

Your session will likely run for 50-minutes as your therapist needs to allow 10-minutes to make any relevant notes before they see their next client. You will also get a “10-minute warning” before this point, just to ensure you don’t go into anything too heavy when there’s unlikely to be enough time to resolve it. Your therapist is trained to ensure you leave the room in a safe and secure frame of mind, leaving you to focus solely on what you want to bring into the room.

Often, clients are amazed by how quickly the time has passed, and the hope is you will leave much lighter, feeling completely undaunted about the idea of returning for future sessions. When you reach this point, wonderful progress can be made quite quickly.

I am completely aware of how big a step it can be to actually book, and then attend, your first session, so I immediately congratulate anyone who does it. I also make it clear that if after the first session, you don’t feel the connection is quite right with your therapist, you are under no obligation to return. Therapists know more than anyone that the connection has to be right, so they won’t be offended if you decide to look elsewhere.

If you find the session useful though, and you feel that you are with the right person, you can book your sessions one at a time, meaning you will never be “locked in” to a minimum required amount of meetings.

If I didn’t believe in the power of talking therapy, then I would never have become a therapist, so my advice is that if you’re in any way curious, feel free to contact me for a free consultation call.