We often hear about Post Traumatic Stress and PTSD, but I think something that doesn’t get spoken about anywhere near enough is Post Traumatic Growth. In particular, spending our time and energy learning how to harness the impact of trauma so we can implement positive change is something I believe talking therapy is uniquely placed to achieve.

Trauma comes in infinite forms. Some traumas stem from behaviours and actions that were directly aimed at us, and some come from incidents that were seemingly random and completely out of our control, yet the impact is still the cause of great distress.

When many of us are confronted with deep, uncomfortable feelings, our instinct can be to bury them as deep as we can and distract ourselves from having to deal with them. Initially, this might seem like an effective tactic, but our conscious and sub-conscious knows the score, and our bodies are acutely aware of the stresses we carry inside.

An interesting question we can ask ourselves is this:

“In our minds, how much do we live in the Past, how much do we live in the Present, and how much do we live in the Future?”

Everybody’s answer will of course be different. Even what we consider to be a healthy amount to live in each territory can be the subject of great discussion. For example, what do you think about the following breakdown?

Past (15%) – Present (60%) – Future (25%)

In your view, is this balance healthy or unhealthy? Why? What are your numbers? How do you feel about them? Can you explain your answers? Is there anything that occurs to you that you instantly want to change?

Living too much in the past usually brings us pain and prevents us from fully embracing the “here and now,” which in turn, can become detrimental to our future. Yet the past absolutely informs who we are. Also, our traumas exist in the past, so if those events have led to cyclical patterns of behaviour that affect us negatively in the present, we may need to explore ways to resolve this before we are able to fully live in the moment.

Likewise, it is incredibly useful to plan for the future, but living too much in the future can mean we don’t end up laying strong enough foundations in the present to help us get to the places we desire.

Not everybody likes to relive the past, particularly memories that are painful, or moments that we deeply regret. Yet finding a way to address previous traumas head-on, and discussing them in a way that’s constructive, can yield great results in terms of how we view the past and how we wish to live our lives today, regardless of what has happened before.

Reliving trauma can often leave a person feeling vulnerable, especially when we analyse the true effect it’s had on us. This is why the safest and most productive way to approach the task is by working with a trained therapist who will do everything to ensure you are as safe as possible throughout the process.

If you feel there are things you would like to address from the past so you can harness that energy into something that helps you grow, as opposed to holds you back, please feel free to contact me for a free consultation.